Penny Reid, Neanderthal Seeks Human

There are three things you need to know about Janie Morris: 1) She is incapable of engaging in a conversation without volunteering TMTI (Too Much Trivial Information), especially when she is unnerved, 2) No one unnerves her more than Quinn Sullivan, and 3) She doesn’t know how to knit.

After losing her boyfriend, apartment, and job in the same day, Janie Morris can’t help wondering what new torment fate has in store. To her utter mortification, Quinn Sullivan- aka Sir McHotpants- witnesses it all then keeps turning up like a pair of shoes you lust after but can’t afford. The last thing she expects is for Quinn- the focus of her slightly, albeit harmless, stalkerish tendencies- to make her an offer she can’t refuse. (Summary from Amazon.com.)

I downloaded this e-book for free, and honestly, that’s the only good thing I can say about it. I don’t think I’ve ever encountered a heroine whom I’ve despised more than Janie Morris. The novel would have you believe that Janie is very book-smart, although her nerves get the best of her in social situations. In fact, however, there is absolutely no evidence of her alleged intelligence, and her “nervousness” is so over-the-top as to be completely ridiculous. She literally cannot form complete sentences when speaking to a man she finds attractive. She also somehow fails to notice that her crush Quinn, whom she believes is a lowly security guard, is actually the owner of the company where she works. The reader, of course, has noticed it by approximately chapter two. The book’s writing style is fairly awful as well, complete with one of the most cringe-inducing sex scenes I’ve ever encountered. I can’t even remember the main conflict of the book, to be honest…all my attention was given to my utter hatred of Janie. Like I said, the book was free, but I still wish I could get those hours of my life back.